imsoshive:

me: what’s for dinner?

her: *spreads her legs*

me: 

image

so, did you not cook or ….. cause popeyes closes at 10 and i need to leave now if i’m gon make it. 

+

x

Anonymous:
whats the craziest thing youve ever done?

punkcr:

omg okay so one time (i think it was sophomore year) i was sitting in class and my teacher, out of no where, says “i can see your bra strap through your shirt hanna” and i looked down and you literally couldn’t see it unless you were blatantly staring at my chest so i said, “well i can’t” and he says “you need to go change your shirt” and i said i didnt have another shirt so hes like then go home and i had a burning hatred for this teacher i still do because it was like he went out of his way everyday to piss me off so i stood up and took off my bra under my shirt, dropped it on the floor next to my desk and sat down.

i was suspended for a week. 

gordonsfringe:

he does the finger thing too

sexyshroomish:

who the heck invented sex like why would you think to put your wing wang in the wizard sleeve

suck my ass —mother teresa (via joshpecksmom)

5sos reading the fan fiction about themselves.

Calum: actually this is all fucking spot on i like it i'm gonna read this stuff
Michael: ok i am either a cuddly kitten or mad as fuck and mysterious and cocky there is no in-between here what is going on
Luke: alright so the piercing isn't going anywhere anytime soon as in never
Ashton: daddy ash? thats so cute their writing about me as a dad aweh *opens imagine and reads*
Calum:
Michael:
Luke:
Ashton: they didn't mean me as a father nope alright thats enough for today

itsmuke:

Int: Uploading a couple of videos literally changed your lives.

herspanic:

howtobeafuckinglady:

theshlyn:

Corn rolls. Moment of science for the real Beyonce. Let us not forget

they called cornrows not “corn rolls”  thanks for trying tho cracker 

We gonna let the “moment of science” go tho?

ofashton